Best of Blaine Police Reports, Part 2

July 1, 9:45 p.m.: Police were called by a motorist reporting she had been assaulted at a gas station on H Street during a disagreement about poor driving habits on the freeway approaching Blaine. The reporting party advised that the suspect had been driving 90+ mph on the freeway, swerving in front of other cars and erratically braking before taking the truck route off-ramp and stopping at the gas station. The reporting party also stopped at the gas station, and told the suspect lady to “slow down and learn to drive.” The suspect responded with some advice of her own and then started beating on the reporting party with a pink purse. The reporting party left the scene and called police. Officers arrived within minutes but the suspect was no longer in the area and no identifying vehicle information was available.

July 21, 2:33 a.m.: An amazed, anonymous caller reported seeing a naked man walking near 3rd and Cedar Streets. The arriving officers contacted the pedestrian, who was indeed bare from the waist down, carrying a daypack, a cell phone and his private parts. He appeared to be alone but investigation revealed he had three associates; a trio of Pokémon Go characters he had just captured on his phone in the space between the two motels and the restaurant he was standing beside. He denied that his lack of clothing served any purpose save maximizing the agility needed for a satisfying hunt, but agreed to immediately don pants from his daypack rather than have his game interrupted by incarceration.

July 29, 1:31 a.m.: Police were dispatched to a report of someone yelling in a residential neighborhood on Bayview Avenue. They arrived to find an intoxicated man sitting on a home’s porch steps. Blood covered the man’s face, his clothing, a nearby door and a window. It took a minute to confirm the gore was his own and no one else had been injured. The inebriate was his own suspect: he and his girlfriend confirmed that after a verbal dispute he had downed a fifth of tequila before punching the ground and splitting open his knuckles to celebrate the accomplishment. The gentleman refused medical attention for his hand. He was offered and accepted a ride out of the area to a friend’s house for the rest of the night and he was warned to not return to his girlfriend’s house for the night.

August 4, 8:30 p.m.: A woman called police when an unwanted, unknown intoxicated man stumbled from out of the woods behind her home on Garfield Avenue and into her 2-year-old’s birthday party. The caller’s husband escorted the man from their property and the arriving officers were not able to locate him in the woods or surrounding area. The family will call if he returns for dessert.

August 7, 11 p.m.: While on routine patrol in a neighborhood late at night an angry man began shouting at the officers and approached their vehicle. The man made quite a scene in the neighborhood by yelling profanities at the officers. The man was repeatedly instructed to step back from the vehicle. In an effort to diffuse the situation, the officers then attempted to drive away, but the intoxicated man slammed the top of the patrol vehicle. After the officers exited the vehicle, the agitated man intentionally spat on one of them in the face. He was ultimately provided a ride in the vehicle he had attempted to damage and was booked into Whatcom County Jail.

August 8, 10:20 a.m.: Officer was contacted by a citizen who wanted to report some bizarre behavior around her apartment complex. Someone has apparently been taping various small amounts of money/coins to door handles, screen doors and a newspaper on one of the doorsteps. There is currently no known person of interest in the unusual gifting.

August 12, 10:50 p.m.: An officer on patrol downtown observed the passenger door of a company truck standing open in a business parking lot after hours, and spotlit the vehicle. The four startled vehicle prowlers inside flowed in different directions for cover when the light came on. They escaped the scene, leaving behind most of the storage box of cat chow which they had been feasting on in the front seat. It appears the food was being left for feral felines rather than the raccoon family that found it.

August 15, 2:08 p.m.: While on routine patrol an officer was flagged down and told there were some people at the public boat launch having trouble getting their boat out of the water. Officers contacted the men who said they were attempting to leave the harbor but had forgotten to put the plug in the boat. When the deck transformed into a lake they realized their error, but by then the boat was too heavy to pull back onto the trailer. With the help of the Blaine Harbormaster’s Office, officers were able to contact some boat owners who assisted with pumping the water from the bilge, saving the men from having to check with their insurance company to see if they were covered for self-sinkage.

September 24, 3:02 p.m.: Blaine police responded to the 1700 block of H Street after someone reported seeing what they believed was a dead body in a van. The van drove off before officers arrived, but officers were able to locate the vehicle. An officer contacted the driver, who allowed him to look into the van. What the officer found was a gourd underneath some aprons. The crafty female driver stated she bought the gourd at the farmer’s market and the aprons were handmade by her. Whatever plan she had for the gourd, it probably hadn’t involved staging a crime scene. The officer and the woman parted ways after a good chuckle.

September 30, 11:39 a.m.: Officers monitoring NWFRS radio, responded to a two-vehicle, injury motor vehicle collision at 4th and Clark Streets. Officers arrived to see a vehicle balancing on its side. The driver was still inside the vehicle, conscious and alert, but with a visible head injury. The occupants of the second vehicle, which was parked when hit, had no obvious signs of injuries. NWFRS arrived and extricated the driver, who was transported to the hospital by personal vehicle. The accident could have been avoided, and the driver was issued a citation. Both vehicles were removed from the roadway by a tow truck.

October 22, 9:23 a.m.: Blaine police were dispatched to a residence where two roommates were arguing. An officer arrived and spoke with all the parties involved. The male roommate reported that he woke up on this morning and could feel that his blood sugar levels were very low. In an effort to bring his blood sugar levels up, the man went to get a popsicle and discovered someone had eaten a few of them without asking for permission. The man then started to yell and speak very animatedly towards other people in the house. There were no reports of him becoming physical or making direct threats to anyone. Police calmed the man down, and all parties came to an agreement to separate for a good part of the day and remain as civil as possible.

November 15, 6:06 p.m.: A woman who lives very near the border reported a man had attempted to lure her daughter to cross out of her backyard over to his vehicle, parked on Zero Avenue in Canada. The girl made smart choices about her safety and instead went straight inside and called her mother. RCMP and Border Patrol agents were all notified of the incident. The van, which to Blaine PD’s knowledge has not been seen in the United States, was described as a white delivery van with a pink ribbon and the writing “Canadian Breast Cancer Awareness” on it.

December 2, 11:40 a.m.: Several people called to report a vehicle occupied by four young adults in a business parking lot. All of the individuals appeared to be passed out as they were slumped over, heads hanging forward. Officers arrived and were able to rouse the occupants with some effort. When asked about any drugs in the vehicle, they admitted to having already consumed their heroin. A search of the vehicle was authorized by the driver, and officers located the paraphernalia the occupants said would be there. Two of the occupants stated they were sick and asked for help with their addiction. They are being connected with the appropriate community services.

December 10, 6:44 a.m.: Police responded to a suspicious circumstances complaint at a residence when the homeowner discovered unfamiliar footprints in the snow around their property. The resident reported that it did not look like the prowler had gained entry to buildings or taken anything. The arriving officer examined the site and determined a battle had apparently taken place. The patterns of footprints and spent munitions told a story of energetic youngsters using the back yard to execute a flanking maneuver in a sneak snowball attack on opposing forces. Both sides had removed their wounded and no prisoners were available for interrogation.